2010年6月25日

新論網 (二)

In Singapore, the majority of us live in Highly Dangerous Buildings (HDB, 組屋), And most people have already got used to Paying and Paying(PAP, 人民行動黨, 即是李生那個哩).
Not only do you have to pay, you Pay Until Bankrupt (PUB, 公共事務局, 交水費).

If that's not enough, somebody still Purposely Wants to Dig (PWD, 市面工程局) and get more from you.

So what more can you do when you are in the Money Only Environment (MOE, 教育部)?

With the current Mad Accounting System (MAS, 金融管理局), you are forced to Pay the Sum Ahead (PSA, 新加坡國際港務集團), Which will leave some people Permanently Owing Some Banks (POSB郵政儲蓄銀行).

And forced to live on the Loan Techniques Always (LTA, 陸路交通管理局) system. When you fall sick and happen to be admitted to a Money Operating Hospital (MOH, 醫管局),

You might be able to use your Cash Prior to Funeral (CPF, 中積金) fund.

If you are out of luck, you may meet doctors who Never Use Heart (NUH, 國立大學醫院) to treat you, And you will be Sure to Give up Hope (SGH, 新加坡中央醫院).

To help ease the traffic, motorists have to pay Cash On Expressway (COE, 汽車擁有費).

If that doesn't help, they can always Eternally Raise Prices (ERP, 電子道路收費系統) on the roads.

If you don't own a car, you can always make a Mad Rush to the Train (MRT, 地鐵), OR get squashed in a bus Side By Side (SBS, 巴士公司).

Lastly, under all these pressures, there are not many places we can relax, not even the good old place we used to go because it has become So Expensive and Nothing To See Actually (SENTOSA, 聖淘沙, 一個島)!!
=======
And so there was this cosmetic surgeon who was sitting in his consultation room chatting to his friend.

In the middle of a conversation, a gorgeous female walked into the room and kissed the surgeon and said, "Thank you so much! You have done wonder to my body and look. I was an ugly duckling before that and now I looked like a princess."

When the gorgeous lady left the room, the surgeon's friend asked, "Wow, who was that? You have certainly done a good job."

The surgeon replied, "Oh, that was my mum," and they carried on with their conversation.

A moment later, another lady walked into his room. This lady was even more gorgeous than the first one and she too came round and kissed the surgeon, "Thank you so much! You have really made me look 20 years younger. Those face lift and liposuction have certainly worked wonder to my look. How can I ever thank you!"

As the lady left the room, his friend asked again, "Who was that? She sure looks like a supermodel. I am really impressed with your surgery skills now."

The surgeon replied, "Oh, that was just my wife."

They then carried on with their normal conversation. Then suddenly a third lady walked into the room. This lady has a perfect body and the look was so beautiful it was beyond this world. She was even more gorgeous than the first two ladies. She stormed towards the surgeon and gave him a big slap, yelling, "You bastard. Look at what you have done to my body! You have ruined my life!! I hope you will die in hell."

As the lady stormed away, the surgeon's friend turned round to him with a puzzled look. The surgeon shook his head and responded, "Let's not talk about it... that was my father."

沒有留言: